Thursday, May 20, 2010
Every day there are countless choices that we make - do I wear the black shirt or the red one? Do I get gas now or can I make it until the next exit? Do we tackle the grammar lesson or do I have time to take a nap? Should I order pizza or the grilled chicken and veg? Do I really want to open this bill or can I keep living in ignorant bliss?
Some choices are big, some are small, and some are in-between. Yet each one affects our lives. Sometimes in ways we cannot see.
ArtGuy and I try to make the best choices we can for us and for our family. We re-evaluate every once in a while. This has been one of those times.
I just passed up the opportunity to work in a great parish. The job was right up my alley. Everything about it sounded exciting and challenging in just the right way. ArtGuy and I talked and prayed a lot about this. Part of us wanted me to do it. But there were also very good reasons not to. In the end, we were in complete agreement: this was not the right time for me to work full-time outside the home. Instead, I will take a smaller writing opportunity that has come my way and work on other writing projects that were laid aside for the past two years while I have recovered from the Mad Toddler's annihilation of my body and an appendectomy (and the selling of a house, the buying of a new one, the falling apart of that deal, the buying of another house, and an eventual move - it was a busy 2 years!).
Oddly enough, I passed up a similar opportunity three years ago. I had the chance to work in a different parish, but this would have required a long commute or a bigger move.
Will I regret it? Sure - when I am reminding the Young Adult for the tenth time in 30 minutes to clean his room, when I am standing in front of a mound of laundry that just materialized even though I have been doing laundry for days, when I am trying to ignore the Mad Toddler's shrieks of displeasure because I will not give him jelly beans (he has a good memory of Easter), I will probably think to myself, "I could be working with mostly reasonable adults, getting a paycheck, feeling like I am useful and productive".
Will I regret it? No, not really. For now, once again I have made a choice that the direction of my life is to continue to be a homeschooling mom of four boys. Some people think I am crazy for doing this in the first place, some think I am crazy to consider anything else. It does not matter. God has given each one of us our own lives and our own calling. Mother Teresa said "We do not know what way God is appearing to that soul and what way God is drawing that soul, and therefore, who are we to condemn anybody?" (Hunt, Dorothy S., Mother Teresa. Love: A Fruit Always in Season. 4th printing. San Francisco, CA: Ignatius Press, 1987. 133. Print)
Decisions require choices, and we must be willing to make choices. We often think, "If I could just see where I am going...". Choices provide us with steps to follow.
Choices - they define our lives. They define who we are. Let us have the grace and strength to stand behind each choice we make.