My house has thrown up on itself.
Stuff seems to be everywhere. Clutter. Junk. Toys. Books.
I hardly have time to think a thought, much less clean more than on-the-fly. My new schedule for the school year is way too much for me. I am so hopeful it will settle down soon. But for now, I am amazed at the amount of stuff I can get done in one day. Amazed, and impressed I have not exploded into little bits.
It is the sheer volume of "to-do", but -almost worst - it is the constant shifting from one mode to another. Lego coach mode - zzzzoop! Now make dinner! Now get lessons plans for preschool! Now teach preschool! Now run home and teach and help high school, middle school, and kindergarten. Now STOP and dust the 2 inches of dust from the piano and grab that laundry. But wait, it is time to drive a kid to a practice. But not before you pull dinner out of the freezer! Good? Good, because now it is time to get those homeschool coop lesson plans done!
My head is spinning, I am not sleeping. I am in tears. I am tired.
I was SO proud of myself. In the cleaning I did over the summer, my bedroom became trashed. Everything seemed to end up in there. I worked really hard one whole morning, and cleared about a 3ft by 2 ft space. Just bare carpet.
I am not kidding - I have gone into my room just to look at that spot. It makes me feel calm. It makes me feel I can DO it!
I found I have to haul a load of junk to and from our homeschool coop (in a bin that does not really even fit in the back of my van! Sorry about those marks on the bin, guys!). In addition to that, the suitcase of junk I haul to the coop class I teach - those now occupy my Clean Space.
It is really stupid, but it makes me so, so sad. I am determined to find another place for those things, but I am not sure where yet.
Those lost space makes me feel I will never get it all done. Dreams of a clean bedroom, newly painted - hah! That is all they are. Dreams. Those paint chips are going to hang on my wall for as long as I shall live. No one but me will clean, no one but me cares.
This week just has me down. Way, way down.
I need my Clean Space back! Pronto!