The Formula for Math

My family is celebrating Mother's Day today, Saturday, by giving me the day off! It is a wonderful, thoughtful gift. I am enjoying it so much.

The beautiful flowers all my men gave me for Mother's Day. A girl's dream!

Thor and Nick Fury from The Avengers. One of my other Mother's Day gifts! A nerdy girl's dream!

 I have been sitting in my quiet room (except for the times the Monkey comes in to let me know people are not doing his bidding), watching movies on my computer and reading books. I just received Cookie Boy's new math book today, and could not put it down until I read it cover-to-cover.

You will draw one of two conclusions from that last sentence. Either:
a) "She must be one of those "math nerds", who really gets into Khan Academy and things like chemistry."
or
b) "She is really weird."

Both of those would be incorrect. Well, okay...I am a little weird. But mostly, b is an incorrect answer to this particular question.

First, to clarify, I am not a math nerd.

I am, generally, abysmal in math. For example, I was never in the "higher math" classes in school. Except eighth grade. The school sent my mother and me a letter the summer before eighth grade, informing us I was being placed in advanced pre-algebra.
 My mother read it, and promptly called the school to see if there had been a mistake.
There had not been a mistake.

Now, this seems like the kind of incident that a child might resent her mother for, holding it against her for life.
"You never believed in me and my ability to do higher math! If you had just believed in me, I could be teaching Linear Algebra at Harvard right now!"

Nope.
 I believe I was standing at my mother's elbow when she made the call, and when we found out there had been no mistake, we looked at one another and shrugged. She said something equivalent to, "If you want to take advanced Pre-algebra, that is up to you."
I gulped, thought about it, and accepted the challenge.
It was the only year I ever attempted an advanced math class.
Except chemistry - which is not a math class, per se, but a science class with a lot of advanced math in it.  Ms. Alfieri had pity on me and let me wash lab equipment for bonus points to bring me to a passing grade. Saintly woman.

I even chose a college major based on how much math I had to take.

True (embarrassing) stories.

Suffice it to say, math was never my forte.

Which is why it totally makes sense that I coach an engineering and robotics team.

Life is full of irony.
Which brings us back to the question: Why was I eagerly reading a math book on my day off today?

Let me first say this: I am finishing up my 9th year homeschooling my children. I have come to this truth: I could have learned math, and learned it well. I am learning, even as I teach my children, even at my ripe old age of thirty-mumblemumble. 

There are many different ways to approach math, it turns out. I always thought numbers were not complicated, opposed to learning the different rules for using the comma, reading TS Elliot, or learning all the reasons why the War of 1812 occurred. I mean, 2+2=4, and there just is not any other way about it.
Turns out, math is just as simple and complicated as anything else. And there are many ways to teach it, approach it, and learn it.
The way I was traditionally taught in school just did not work for me. I was always confused. I could memorize formulas, but use them???? Hah! (Actually, taking Metaphysics was much the same experience for me. I memorized every single thing I could, but just could not apply any of it. For one year. Then, it all made sense. I guess I have a slow brain.)

Each of my three big boys is taking a different math course. I used Saxon with all of them in their younger elementary years. When The Young Adult was in 6th grade, he almost exploded from hatred of Saxon math. Perhaps "hatred" is not a strong enough word for what he felt. He had a complete aversion, antipathy to the abomination he felt Saxon math to be.
And his grades fell....fast.
He begged me to find him a new math course. I could see the sense in that. I looked around.

Don't let anyone tell you homeschoolers are always nice and without prejudice. All you need to do to counteract that little fallacy is get on a message board about math and read the threads about what math curriculum to purchase. I have never in my life felt so much like I was walking a battlefield laced with mines, which were constantly exploding in my face.
Apparently, math curriculum is a very hot topic.

In the end, I found a program called LIVE Online Math. The Young Adult needed a teacher, and this program offered a video course along with a once-a-week online classroom meeting. It is a great program. Mr. Bovey is an excellent teacher. He might also become a saint after a few years of teaching The Young Adult.
I thought, as homeschoolers, I would never have the experience of of getting a note sent home from a teacher.
Wrong.
God bless Mr. Bovey.

Anyway.....
Romeo also wanted to switch. After braving the math threads again, I decided to try him out on Singapore Math. He took to it like a nerd takes to Tolkien, and he has been happily zooming through Singapore, learning the ability to do mental math in a very speedy manner.

Cookie Boy, however, decided to stick with Saxon. (He is not a fan of change, in general.) Fine. It works for him. But now he is taking Saxon Algebra 1/2 and is doing fine, but....I have not been totally convinced it is meeting his needs. However, I could not find a program to switch him to that offered enough....mathy reasons to switch. Cookie Boy really likes math. He says he maybe even wants to teach math when he grows up.
I wonder if he is actually related to me?

Almost two weeks ago, I attended a conference where the speaker brought some curriculum she used, in order to show us examples of what her family did.

Now, another thing to know about homeschoolers - most of us are kind of crazy about curricula. We love us some good curricula! Homeschool fairs or homeschool conventions? All KINDS of curricula to explore! We are forever talking shop with one another: "What do you use for science/math/history/literature/Latin? how does that work? Can I see?" We like to swap curricula, borrow curricula, try out new curricula - we are all kind of nerdy-nerds.

So, like the good homeschooler I am, I listened up as the speaker displayed all her books on two tables. Books I have never used! Some I have never heard of! Some I have heard of, but never witnessed in person. Dozens of books for me to flip to through! Sigh!!!!

One was a math series, Life of Fred, by Stanley F. Schmidt, Ph. D.. I had heard of it, but only in passing. She even spent a few moments talking about that series. As I sat there and listened, it intrigued me. At break, I went and got my hands on that book. As soon as I read two pages, I KNEW I had found the new math program for Cookie Boy.

In fact, if Cookie Boy grew up and wrote a math program, he would write Life of Fred.

Math awesomeness - Life of Fred

 It is genius. Smart, witty, funny, thoughtful and simple. I actually read one whole book and felt cheated when the book ended, mid-story. A math cliff-hanger?

Fred, in the book I purchased, is a 5 1/2 year old little boy who teaches mathematics at KITTENS University. He is kind of smart and kind of gullible. He gets into all kinds of interesting situations, like, is he supposed to use the lamb in the back yard to make lamb pizza? How do you open a box with blunt scissors (and how NOT to open said box)? And how to get fired from a job in a pizza place in one day. Oh yeah, you also learn all about fractions, as well.
You can go here to read a sample from the book we purchased, Life of Fred: Fractions. We are going back a little to make sure Cookie Boy has all the concepts, as taught in this sequence.

I can't wait for Cookie Boy to begin this. I have a feeling we have a winner.

The Right of Education - OSV Article, Part 2

This blog is the second in response to the Our Sunday Visitor's article on homeschooling vs Catholic School education.  The first of my blogs focused on the sorry response of the Bishop of Austin, Tx to a local homeschool group. This blog will take on the opinion (from the article) of Father Peter M.J. Stravinskas, who runs the Catholic Education Foundation.

Fr. Stravinskas thoughts are very typical of those who are, not clueless about homeschooling, but anti-homeschooling.  In a nutshell, Fr. Stravinskas claimed:

1. Catechesis is mainly the job of the pastors, then the Church as a whole, with the parents coming in somewhere after all these others.  
2. Families who homeschool at least implicitly teach their children that priests cannot be trusted to hand on the faith. 
3. Homeschooling leads to a decline in religious vocations.
4. It is unhealthy for mothers to spend 24 hours a day with their children.
5. Parents cannot possibly teach their children all they need to know.
6. Homeschoolers set themselves apart as an "elite" group within the Church, causing division.

Wow! Where to start! I am going to jump around a bit, so hang on!


You Might Be Crazy If....
Let's go with #4 first, because it made me laugh - it is psychologically unhealthy for parents and children to be with each other 24 hours a day.
Okay, so the days where I spend all morning arguing with the 13-yr-old who cannot believe he has to (gasp!) do something so cruel as write a paper or clean a room, simultaneously potty-train a toddler while teaching middle school Latin,  or on the days they all seem to have brain farts at the same time, then yes, I can see that it may be psychologically unhealthy for me to be with my children all day, every day. 
But, the thing is, I am not with them all day, every day.  For starters, they all have their own (sometimes shared) bedrooms. We go to bed separately, and we have free hours. The kids play, I...do whatever it is I do, and we spend some healthy time on our own. They do have friends, hobbies, and toys. 
In fact, the label "homeschooler" can be mis-leading. With all the homeschool support today  (and the recognition that there is money to be made from homeschoolers), there are a plethora of classes and activities to do, and groups to belong to. We are actually not often at home all day! 
If what Fr. Stravinskas says is true, then mothers or fathers should put the kids in day care straight away, as there is nothing more psychologically demanding than caring for a newborn 24 hours a day. Vacations are a no-no, unless you plan on separate activities. 
It is not always easy being around each other so much, but the last thing it is is psychologically unhealthy. I like my kids. They (usually) like me! We learn a lot from each other, and together we create a really healthy, stable family. You see, by homeschooling together, we have to learn to get along, to work through our differences, and to listen with respect. How many families want these things? 
We are not joined at the hip, the kids can handle life apart from me, we are not sharing a family bed that sleeps six.  
And we are not crazy. Usually.....


My Teacher, Mrs. Mom
#5 - Parents cannot teach their children all they need to know. 
I couldn't agree with this more. Thank God we are not stuck in a log cabin in the middle of the winter, in 1820 on the prairie! 

The rallying cry of homeschoolers comes from the Vatican II document, Christian Education. It says, "Parents must be recognized as being primarily and principally responsible for the education of their children." ( No 3)

But the document also states,

"The task of imparting education belongs primarily to the family, but it requires the help of society as a whole." (No 3). 

Or, as it states in Familiaris Consortio,

"The family is the primary but not the only and exclusive educating community." FC (no 40)

I do not know of one homeschooling parent that is the sole teacher of their children. For starters, my children attend, or have attended, on-line classes, community classes, science workshops, homeschooling coops, seminars, discussions, and PE. Do I know Latin?  Nope. So, how do I teach it? Through the experts who do know Latin, and how to teach it. The boys use their DVD's every day, and would tell you that Ms. Leigh or Mr. Moore is their teacher - Mom just helps out!

Even without these resources, parents are never the sole teachers of their children. Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, Cicero, and a host of other authors have a lot to share. All I do is guide the reading a bit, provide some discussion, and listen to the results.

More specifically, Fr. Stravinskas was speaking about high school education. It is a valid question - how can the average homeschooling parent teach high school subjects with the needed depth?  The answer is - we don't!
I would be the first to tell you that I do not excel in math or science. If I tried to teach my children all about chemistry, for example, it would be a very, very short class!

But what I do know how to do well is to research and find great science classes, science curriculum, and experiments. 

Homeschooling parents are like shepherds. It is our job to guide our children to the green valleys and still waters where they can take refreshment and nourishment. Our job is to lead our children's education, not to be the sole voice in it. 


Name Your Source
#3 - Homeschooling leads to a decline in religious vocations.
Really? Where did that come from? I would like to know, because from what I have read, homeschooling often has the opposite effect. Catholic families who include faith in the homeschooling life usually are big supporters of religious vocations. Our children are the ones altar serving daily mass in the school year. 
Sorry, Fr. Stravinskas - I am just not buying this one!


 Thou Shalt Attend Catholic School
#2 - Families who homeschool instead of sending their children to Catholic school teach their children that priests cannot be trusted to hand on the faith. 


 First, Fr. Stravinskas' argument would have to mean that priests are the ones teaching in Catholic schools. That is not the case. Catholic schools are usually staffed by lay-people. Sometimes religious, but that seems to be the exception anymore, not the rule.  
Catholic families can choose not to send their children to Catholic schools for several reasons, which many other writers have explored. I will just sum up.
First, some families, it is true, do not like their particular Catholic schools. Sometimes it is because the school is more Catholic in name or location, rather than mission and curriculum. Sadly, this can happen. It is fair for Catholic families to expect a truly Catholic education from a Catholic school. Fr. Stravinskas wants us to leave the determination of that to priests.
Secondly - the cost. When it costs $15,000 a year to send one child to the nearest Catholic high school (and we have four children), then it becomes a financial burden to the family. Yes, a family should not expect a free education, but a Catholic education should not be available solely to the well-off. Even with scholarships, we could not afford this. Many families are in this situation. 
Some diocese do this well. The Diocese of Topeka, Kansas has made it much more affordable, and I have heard St. Louis, MO is similar. It can be done, but sadly, it usually is not.

Perhaps Fr. Stravinskas was thinking of the Vatican II document, Christian Education. It says:

"Catholic parents are reminded of their duty to send their children to Catholic schools  wherever this is possible, to give Catholic schools all the support in their power, and to cooperate with them in their work for the good of their children." Christian Education, Vat. II, No 8

But if so, he forgot this quote, from the same document:

"Parents, who have a primary and inalienable duty and right in regard to the education of their children, should enjoy the fullest liberty in their choice of school." Christian Education, No 6

We are Catholic, Yes it's True! We are Catholic, How About You?
#6 - Homeschoolers can set themselves apart as an "elite Catholic" group, causing division within the Church. 

This is a valid point. It can happen. There can arise, from some, the attitude that "we are more Catholic than you because we homeschool." It does not have to be said, it can be implied. 
Schooling is a choice that each parent has to make. Personally, I went to public schools my whole life. I made great friends, was supported and challenged in my faith, learned a great deal, and was influenced for the good. Because it was what was right for me. Public and Catholic schooling parents should not judge homeschoolers for being anti-establishment, and Catholic homeschooling parents need to be clear they do not feel superior to others because they strive to blend faith and life in a way not often found in traditional schools. 
This is true of any group of Catholics. It is a mistake to think that only your way of doing things is correct. Yes, we have to follow Church Law and remain faithful, but there is a wide world of variation in how that is lived out. St. Paul and St. Peter disagreed with each other many times. They had different styles and different missionary aims. Thus proving that while all are called to discipleship, not all are called to witness in the same manner. 
What is a Catholic homeschooling family? Do they have to use a particular curriculum? Do they have to say certain prayers? Not watch tv? Is it a sin to be familiar with modern culture?  Do they have to attend daily mass? If this is how you judge others, you are certainly setting up barriers. 
There is nothing more damaging to the faith than a sense of superiority. One can teach, gently correct, give example, but to start saying "you are a good Catholic" and "you are not"....well, that is a bit like playing God.

Let the Church be the guide, and we Her faithful followers. 

To Be Continued...
And the #1 reason Fr. Stravinskas claimed homeschooling is bad - catechesis is the province of the pastor, not the parent. And this, my friends,  - the problem of religious education and homeschooling - will be the subject of the third, and final, blog in this series of responses to the OSV article on homeschools vs. Catholic schools. 




******************************************************



Other helpful quotes:
all from Familiaris Consortio:

The  right of the parents to choose an education in conformity with their religious faith must be absolutely guaranteed. No 40

The State and the Church have the obligation to give families all possible aid to enable them to perform their educational role properly. FC no 40

However, those in society who are in charge of schools must never forget that the parents have been appointed by God as the first and principal educators of their children and their right in completely inalienable. No 40

Homeschooling, Catholic Schools, and a Whole Lot of Grief

Boy, did Our Sunday Visitor stir up a hornet's nest!

The website recently published an article by Michelle Martin titled "Homeschoolers sometimes at odds with diocese". The article tries to examine the sometimes tenuous relationship between Catholic homeschoolers and their local parishes or diocese. The article raised many questions, but provided inadequate answers. There are so many issues that crop up, it is hard to know where to begin addressing them.

Let me start off by saying, that I am a mother of four, a homeschooling mom of 8 years, a religious education instructor, a writer of religious ed lesson plans, a former Coordinator of Religious Education, and a writer on all of the above. In other words,  I have a lot to say. So much, that I think I will divide this into three separate blogs.

Let us proceed with part one, shall we?



When ____ Freezes Over. Love, The Diocese of Austin, Texas.

First - The article explained how Bishop Vasquez of Austin, TX recently responded to a homeschool group who requested the Bishop attend a mass, blessing the new school year for homeschooling families. The Bishop chose to reply through his Catholic school superintendent, Ned Vanders:

“Bishop Vásquez received your invitation to celebrate a Eucharistic liturgy for the fall home-schooling blessing Mass.Bishop Vásquez believes Catholic education, and in particular Catholic school education, is an essential part of the life of the Diocese of Austin. As you know, Catholic schools are at the heart of the mission of the Church.“Bishop’s presence at the home-schooling Mass would convey a contradictory message equating the importance of Catholic school education with Catholic home schooling; therefore, Bishop Vásquez must respectfully decline the invitation.Sincerely in Christ,Ned F. Vanders, Ed.D.” 

This reply was a tragedy, in many respects.

The Diocese of Austin could not have said it any more clearly. They do not like homeschoolers. A shame, really, because reports are that homeschool life is jumpin' down there!

The problem occurred when the Bishop:
 a) Let someone else make a statement for him. Regardless of the fact it is out of Vanders mouth, we must take it for the Bishop's position. Almost all shepherds in the Church, from the Pope on down to the local pastor, must rely on a group of trusted advisers to help fill in the blanks on issues they may not be well-versed in.
No biggie there.
Perhaps the superintendent of diocesan schools was not the...best... adviser in this matter. It is a shame that the Bishop could not have crafted a reply -simply declining the invitation - himself, or through his secretary.

b) Chose a side. For, through Vanders, Bishop Vasquez pretty much said that the Austin area homeschoolers are a lower Catholic lifeform, and wanted to make that statement in print....on file...for the record! My guess is that Bishop Vasquez really does not know anything about homeschooling, or homeschoolers. (Apparently, he is not even aware that homeschools in Texas are considered private schools. Therefore, Catholic homeschools are mini Catholic schools.)
He missed an opportunity to meet with this group - to get to know this part of his flock, and perhaps to come away with a better idea if homeschooling is a cult (his fear?), an enemy of the modern Church anxious to whisk us back to pre-Vatican II (a bigger fear), or if this is a legitimate form of education that will support and strengthen his diocese, the local parishes, vocations (surely not!) and (gasp!)the Catholic schools.

Bishop Vasquez's reply was very short-sighted and close-minded. And, folks, that is a huge insult for a city who prides itself on hipness and progress. Why make yourself an enemy of homeschoolers? Why draw lines in the sand?

Is the Bishop of Austin the first to chose to short-change Catholic homeschoolers? No. Will he be the last? No. I was told by one Catholic educator (who had the ear of a pastor), "Homeschoolers should stay home, where they belong - that's a part of their name, after all". Homeschoolers face this kind of opposition fairly often.

The best defense? Education (imagine that!)
Bishop Vasquez was ill-advised, and not discerning enough in how the situation was handled. The best way homeschoolers can handle this kind of response - whether from a diocese or a parish - is to remain open and honest, inviting pastors to come and see homeschooling groups, to drop in on coop classes, to say blessings. Perhaps local homeschool associations can form outreach boards, that offer to meet with parishes or the diocese to explain who they are and what they stand for.
And for heaven's sake - stay involved in the parishes! Many think "Catholic homeschoolers", and you load in your head an image of a nice, plain woman in a denim jumper (rosary in pocket), opening the door to her 15-seater van, while children of seemingly every age tumble out like clowns in a circus. The children all speak fluent Latin ("Would you like me to help you translate that, Fr. Smith?"), and they grow (almost) all their own food. The family is polite to a fault, the children have never held a Nintendo DS, and the tv cabinet is only opened for religious programming.

Please let me say that I know families like this! And I love them! All of that is great. But to many people, this is stereotypical homeschooler.  In reality, homeschoolers are all around us, from the chic woman whose children are avid sports jocks, to the gorgeous 40-something whose daughters are ballerinas, to the woman whose children can quote pretty much every episode of Spongebob Squarepants and spot swear words in a cross word puzzle and actively translate Latin into English, (guess which one is me?), these families are schooling at home and remaining active in the parish. The only way you know it is when you ask the kids, "where do you go to school." There is that moment of silence before their eyes twinkle as they reply - "Oh, we homeschool", before they run off to blend in to the crowd.

Homeschoolers, at least in Austin, look like they need to educate the educators!

Time to Learn

My inspiration for today's entry is from Not Just Cute, and this entry on why "Age Does Matter". Read it. It is good.

We get questions all the time about why we homeschool/ how we homeschool/am I crazy to be homeschooling?

The reasons were many, but one of the biggest was the desire to let the Young Adult grow and develop at his own pace. The emphasis since the time the Young Adult was about to enter Kindergarten has shifted even more towards standardized testing, which is not a good way to teach. Well, it often does not allow a lot of teaching at all.

We talk about how bad we feel for the students in public schools these days, but I also feel bad for the teachers. So many of them have creative ideas that cannot be implemented because of the drive for testing (more often in the elementary level). I overheard a group of teaches discussing the upcoming school year one August. They were talking about how one of their favorite field trips got canceled. The destination - an recreated "old settlers" kind of place. They asked one of the women, who was on a committee concerning such things, and she replied, "Well, it doesn't meet the requirements for the standardized testing, so we had to drop it".
How sad! It was like saying there was nothing of real value the kids could get from that field trip. The teachers were all very dissapointed, but their hands were tied, too.


One of the bug-a-boos in homeschooling can be the fear of not accomplishing enough. Of looking like slackers who are bucking the system. But really, sometimes we have to reclaim the ability to not be scheduled every single part of the day. Back when I was a working mom, I oversaw the religious ed of elementary students for a large parish. One class had repeated trouble with one 5th grade boy. He was in my office a lot. One evening I talked to him about it. I asked him, "Do you want to be here?"?
'No."
"Why not," I prodded.
He shrugged. Then he burst out, "I'm just tired."
"What did you do today?"
"I went to school, then piano, then we went to McDonald's. Now I am here, but after this I have soccer practice."

I didn't have the heart to take him to task. It wasn't his fault, too much. Now, if I could have gotten the parents, they might have heard an earful.

ArtGuy and I have a policy that says the boys can do scouts, church group,  and one other activity. That is it. No more. Not only do we want to be running all over the place all the time (Too late for that!), we don't want them overscheduled. We sit and listen to the parents talk about the mutiple soccer teams, multiple sports teams their kids are on. We just can't do that to the boys. They need time to be creative. Our boys create their own card games, their own board games, art projects, and crafts.  If they were too scheduled, when would there be time for this?

One last story - at our First Lego League meeting last night, the 7 (homeschooled) boys got to talking. The Young Adult was illustrating his point with a story from Greek Mythology, and the tale of Odysseus. As he mentioned the story, almost all the other boys went, "ooooo, I love that story, too!" , and then launched into details. One other boy said, "I don't know that one. Can someone send it to me?"

 I laughed at them! Homeschoolers!!!!!

Faith Wednesday: St. Gregory the Great

Welcome to Faith Wednesdays! Every Wednesday in our homeschool is the day we have our faith lesson. We will doing a new prayer and a new saint each week.


Prayer of the Week: Kyrie Eleison


Chant, baby!

In honor of the feast of St. Gregory on September 3, the prayer this week will include chant.

In the modern Church today, many see Gregorian chant as antiquated, a relic of pre-Vatican II days. In fact, it is very relevant, just as it has always been. I am discovering chant now, as I am singing in a new chant group, Plano Schola Gregoriana. It is a new world for me, and one I am finding increasingly beautiful.

 Music within the liturgy is a special type of music. It is different from praise music or worship music. Its sole purpose is to help people participate in the Mass. Chant seeks to fill these needs by simply being sung prayer.

We already do chant in the modern church today, but we do not always know it to be chant.

For example - the traditional litany of the saints is a chant:




Here is a link to the words.

Following is a neat interview with two monks about chanting.



So, for this week, we are going to be learning:
The Kyrie (which is Greek, not Latin, but is still a Latin chant! Go figure!)
In English, this would be :
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

In Greek, the words are simply:
Kyrie eleison. (key-ree-ay   a-lay-ee-szon)
Christe eleison. (Chrees-tay a-lay-ee-szon)
Kyrie eleison. (key-ree-ay   a-lay-ee-szon)





Saint of the Week: Saint Gregory the Great

Saint Gregory the Great accomplished many, many things in his lifetime. He is called the father of the medieval papacy, and his efforts helped to bring about the Middle Ages. Some of what he did even influences our modern Church today.

Gregory was born in Rome around 540 AD. This was after Rome first fell to outside invaders, but when some of her glory still remained. Gregory witnessed in his lifetime the true end of the age of Rome. At the age of 6, Gregory lived through the sack of Rome by the Goths (who returned for a repeat performance in 552). From this time on, Rome would endure many sacks and sieges, wars and looting.

Gregory's father was a patrician who much later would give up his wealth to enter a life of prayer  and his mother, Sylvia, went on to become a canonized saint, herself (so did two of his aunts!). Little else is known about Gregory's young life or his education. By all accounts, however, he was well-educated and entered a life of public service to Rome.  At the age of 33, Gregory became Prefect of Rome. The position had lost most of its glory and power it had during Rome's empire years, but it was still a position of respect and honor. Most of all, Gregory had the chance to help his people, who were tired and weak from invasions, barbarian rule, famine and disease.

In 574, after a great deal of searching and prayer, Gregory gave up his career and wealth to become a monk. He offered his various land holdings to the Church for the building of monasteries. He entered one of these, St. Andrew's, and lived a life of prayer, fasting, and the monastic life. After only three years, the Pope called Gregory back to become one of the seven deacons of Rome.

At this time, Rome was about to be attacked by the Lombards. After years of wars and decline, Rome could not face this attack on her own. She needed help, and the best place for help was the Byzantine Empire.  The Pope sent Gregory, and a few of his fellow monks, to the Court at Constantinople to ask for aid.

Gregory did not care for life in the worldly court. He kept as much of a monastic life as possible, clinging to prayer in the midst of splendor. What was worse, it became clear to Gregory that no aid would come from Byzantium. Rome, and Italy, was on her own. She would have to find new ways of becoming strong and facing the world again.

Six long years later, Gregory was recalled to Rome. He became the abbot of his beloved monastery of st. Andrew's. During this time, Gregory met some men from Briton. There are differing stories about this, and as Gregory lived so long ago, we do not know which one is correct. One story says the group he met were free men visiting Rome from Briton. Another story says it was a group of English boys being sold into slavery. Either way, the Anglo-Saxons impressed Gregory, and he greatly desired to travel to England as a missionary. The Pope granted him permission, and Gregory set off with a few monks for Briton. The people of Rome had come to depend on Gregory during this tumultuous time in history, and they were not happy he left. They chased after him, catching up to the monks three days outside of Rome, and carried Gregory back to the city. Gregory accepted that, as much as he wanted to go to Briton, now was not the time.

In 589, terrible disaster befell an already weak Rome. Floods caused homes and crops to be washed away all over Italy. In Rome, the banks of the Tiber overflowed, carrying away even the Church's granaries with precious food for the people. Many people died in the floods and many homes and goods were lost, but that was not all. The waters also brought diseases. A terrible plague swept through the city, leaving so many dead the bodies were stacked up waiting to be taken outside the city to be buried in mass graves. Disease does not care who or what you are. Pope Pelagius himself died of the plague in 590 AD.

The people turned to Gregory (today the college of cardinals elects the Pope, but at the time the church, the government, and the people all had a say in it - the church was much smaller then, and more political, so it made sense). Poor Gregory! He did not want to be Pope. He wanted to be a monk. If he became Pope, he would have to give up much of his monastic life to enter a much more public life. Gregory wrote to the Emperor, asking him not to confirm Gregory's election. But the prefect of Rome got the letter, and never sent it to Emperor Maurice! The prefect believed Rome, and the church, needed Gregory. So, Gregory received the letter with the schedule of his official election. Some stories say Gregory even tried to run away so he would not have to be Pope!

But in the end, he accepted it with grace as the will of God. Gregory became Pope on September 3, 590 AD.

There were so many things Gregory wanted to do now he was Pope! He wanted to get rid of the pages and attendants in the church, and replaced them with monks and priests. Gregory always maintained the heart of a monk. He was the first monk to ever become Pope, and he kept as much of his monk's life and habits as he could. He thought he should live simply. He had a vision of the Church as a service to the people. Gregory gave all his money to caring for the poor and ill and hungry, and preached this message to all the clergy. He was the first Pope to call himself a "servant of the servants of God", and Popes since then have taken this same title.

Gregory's job as Pope was very difficult. He not only had charge of the Church, but he was also in a great way in charge of Rome. Rome was weak and battered and in danger of ceasing to exist. Gregory had to help direct the military as well as everything else, so that Rome had some chance of surviving the regular attacks from invaders.

And the plague. Remember the plague that came after the terrible floods in 589 AD? After Gregory became Pope, the plague continued. It was terrible. The people of Rome might not have to worry about invader any more, as it seemed they would all die of this horrible disease. Gregory ordered that a large and public procession take place through the city of Rome. People (men, women, children, priests, nuns, monks, government officials - everyone!) would meet in all seven of Rome's regions and begin the march, praying all the time, to the center, where they would all meet up at the Basilica of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Now here occurs another beautiful story. As the processed through Rome, begging God to save them from this plague, Gregory passed the bridge of St. Peter's, angels seemed to appear to some of the people. The heavenly defender, St. Michael the Archangel was seen on top of Hadrian's tomb, putting his flaming sword back in his sheath. Gregory could hear angel voices singing praises to God. The people took this to mean the time of disease was over, and God was merciful to them. To this day, Hadrian's tomb is also known as Castel San' Angelo, and a statue of St. Michael rests on top of the tomb, as remembrance of the saving of Rome.

Castel San Angelo, courtesy of clarita on morguefile

Gregory's name is also connected to chant, the music of the Catholic church. Gregory founded two houses for chanters in Rome, one near St. Peter's and one near St. John Lateran's. Gregory believed that music, music in the liturgy, was not to be an end in itself. Music within the liturgy was sacred, and should never distract from the sacrifice of the Mass. Music should be a background for drawing the hearts of the faithful to God, and should never draw attention to itself.  Liturgical music should help draw people's hearts and minds to God to love and reverence Him more and more.

Gregory made numerous reforms to the liturgy itself, invested in land and property for the Church, wrote many, many letters shepherding his people and guarding against heresies, and yes - he did get to send missionaries to Briton!
All that Gregory did and wrote and accomplished is far too much for me to include here. He is a Doctor of the Church. Gregory guided the Church and Western civilization from the end of the decline of Rome into the Middle Ages.

He is remembered on September 3 as St. Gregory the Great!

Seeking the Good

Life involves a lot of choices. Sometimes the choice is between two bad or difficult things. Sometimes the choice is between a difficult, but worthy thing and an easier, more comfortable thing.

But sometimes, one must choose between a good thing and another good thing.

I have been re-evaluating my life, my mission, my purpose, my whatever-you-want-to-call-it. We finally settled down after the move, after the surgeries, after the newest addition to our family. It was time to find my way again. For eight months now I have been looking at different aspects of my life and my family's life.

Being a stay-at-home mom can be rough in the area of "personal fulfillment". Not that it is all about me. It isn't. That is kind of the point. We sacrifice a lot for me to stay at home.  Earlier in our marriage, ArtGuy was the one at home while I worked outside the home. But the Catholic Church pays a whole lot less than advertising and design, so ArtGuy gets the corner office and commute and I get diaper and laundry duty!

Anyway, back to me. Not that it is all about me.....really.....

I have been at home now for 10 years, almost 11. As time has gone on, I have found, like many other stay-at-home moms, my sense of self slipping away. As much as I am willing to sacrifice for my family, as much as I pour myself out in loving service to my husband and children, if I cut out everything outside my family - if I do not nurture who I am - I damage myself and my whole family. We are not meant to be faceless, expressionless automatons, but lively people of character.

God calls each person to a unique expression of self, and to different works. Some women I know find total fulfillment in those works of the home - cleaning, creating a beautiful environment, cooking, teaching, birthing, and raising children. I think it is lovely. But even these women need nurturing themselves, be it through mom's night outs, book clubs, or crocheting class. But some of us who are called to be in the home hear a call outside the home as well. It can get quite confusing. It requires a daily humbling of self before God, asking "What do you want me to do with these feelings?"

Over the past few months, I have been seeking ways to nurture my family and myself.

So I find myself in the position now of having too many wonderful things to chose from, so many things and ways to be involved in the community, in personal development, in enrichment for my family and myself. An embarrassment of riches, indeed!

I have been struggling with looking at my schedule for the coming school year. I have been questioning what paths I should take, and feeling guilty for not getting involved in some things or groups I feel I should be more a part of.

So, I went to Artguy for advice. Poor ArtGuy. Usually when I talk to him and he tries to advise me,  I yell, "Stop trying to solve my problems, and just listen to me"! Now I had to assure him several times that I actually wanted his advice before he gave it to me! His advice was so, so good. He told me to categorize all the activities in question, and see if they were balanced. For example, as I looked at my schedule, he told me to group all the activities that really just benefitted the kids into one group, ones that were just for my enjoyment in another, spiritual activities in a third, family things in a fourth, and so on. If I saw that most of the activities fell into just one or two groups, then it was unbalanced. If they were evenly spread out, then I could feel better that I was not neglecting any one area.

That was great advice!

So, now I can see that things are pretty balanced. So that is good. Now I have to evaluate my committment level to different groups and events. Some of my activities require a huge gift of self. Coaching the First Lego League team is an example of that. In order to do the job right, I need to devote a good chunk of time and energy to this group, until the season is over. I am getting a lot of out learning a new field, challenging my brain, and working with a wonderful group of kids.

Some activities only require basic skills - like driving kids to sports practices and dance classes. Time commitment - moderate, personal commitment - low, personal fulfillment - low. One of my new activities is being in a group that is learning all about Latin chant. We have formed a schola and are working through the basics of chant. It is all so cool. It is exciting to learn something new, especially about church music, which was losing all sense of wonder for me. Time commitment - moderate, personal commitment - moderate, fulfillment level- high.

And so it goes. Some things I have had to accept that I am either not going to be involved in at all, or only in a small way. There is only so much one person or one family can do. Sometimes I feel guilt over it. Not that I am really letting anyone down, but because I feel guilty for letting a good thing go.

I have to keep reminding myself of something I heard at a retreat several years ago - not every good thing is good for me right now.

Sometimes we have to choose between a good and a good. And that is okay!

New Strategy

A little Latin

So, I made a realization.

I am not a "fun" person between the hours of noon and 3pm. No matter how much sleep I have gotten the night before, I regularly bottom out right around noon, and do not recover until around 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

A science project involving simple machines

Now, some of this time period falls during the Mad Toddler's naptime. So, I put him down for a nap, and then I am faced with a dilemma: do I nap while I can, and leave the boys to do...something, or do I soldier through the fatigue and get that schooling done?

researching

Sometimes I try one approach, and sometimes another. Both results are, in the main, less than stellar.

So yesterday it hit me - why try at all? We homeschool, dang it! Why should I be teaching during this time when I resemble a walking zombie? In the work world, I would not have a choice, but as a homeschooler, I do!

Cookie Boy getting ready to review

Today saw us trying a new plan. Every day we break for lunch and refreshment from noon to 1pm. At 1pm, the boys usually return to school. But today, I gave them their video game time at 1pm. After video game time, they had a study period. They could choose to work on homework, or to tackle a subject where there was some available independent work to be done (previously discussed with me). I, on the other hand, had a nice, refreshing nap, followed by a wake-up period. Around 3pm, we returned to school to finish up. The Young Adult and I completed the last subject at 4:50pm.

A picture showing 1)the time we finished school and 2) that my stove needs a good cleaning

It will not be possible to do this every day - some days may be to busy, or we may have activities in the late afternoon or evening. But on the whole, I think this new approach will help us all to do better work.

the casual observer

Not for the Fainthearted

Homeschooling is not for the faint of heart.

We began the week of August 2, with a light "welcome back to school" week. That was followed by a week of vacation. This week marks the real, hard-core return to school. Yesterday, I was so tired that by 6pm I felt like I was hauling weights underwater. I moved in slow motion, using every bit of will I had to remain upright.

 The Mad Toddler is not super happy about school starting up again, either. What happened to all the swimming and bowling, he wonders. Where did the lazy mornings go, when Mom watched fun documentaries and played trains?

 I wonder, that, too. Yes, I chose this - this life, this career, this choice. I still believe in it. But it takes a lot of will-power and energy to do it.

The Young Adult is in 7th grade this year, and so far, his courses are tough. Unlike other years, I need to work with him more this time around. Less "independent study" and more structure. Last year, we ran into a lot of problems with quality of work and timely turn-ins. So, we want to avoid that. Plus, mainly, this year his courses demand more: more intellect, more work, more effort, more direction. We began his Logic course from Memoria Press yesterday. I was almost totally lost! Both The Young Adult and Cookie Boy are moving on to First Form Latin this year, and it looks to be a definite increase in skill-level.

All three school-aged boys have moved onto much more advanced work this time. Even Romeo, who entered 3rd grade, crossed the line from a younger form of school to a more "big boy" work ethic.

Whew!

Oh, it will take a few weeks, but my hope is that it will all settle down into something more like a routine. We do not have locker combinations to learn or hallways to navigate, but we do have to dive into new texts, new learning methods, and new subjects. Eventually, the foreign aspects of the new year will become familiar, and I will get a better sense of who to let go and do their own thing when and where and how and why.

But for now....whew!

Plus, there is still all the laundry and cleaning and exercising and writing and cooking to do. Or should do.

And maybe a little bit of swimming still to come!

Middle School Blues

Homeschooling a middle school child can be hazardous to one's health. And it definitely should not be allowed the day after one's birthday, when the glow of cake, presents, and lots and lots of love still hangs in the air. And then the adolescent child squashes it flat. Like a pancake.

I love my children. All of them. Most of the time.

The Young Adult is bright - very bright. He was the toddler who, by the time he was 18 months, could count to 20, say the alphabet, and identify about 10 letters. So, yes, he is smart. But not as smart as he thinks he is. In his mind, he knows far, far more than his intellectually pitiful mother (obviously), and usually is much wiser than the pantheon of teachers (both in-the-flesh teachers, book teachers, and video professors) who shape his vast mound of wisdom.


I actually have inspiring sayings concerning adolescents taped to my bathroom mirror. I study these each morning, chanting parts like a mantra. It is similar to a warrior donning armor before going into battle.


The attitude....dear God, the attitude!


I feel like I am close to waving the white flag.

He wants to homeschool. He enjoys learning Latin, logic, reading literature, exploring different subjects. It is the actual work he does not care for. Oh, he will do the work, but it is trying to convince him that the work must be done well. That is the problem. Yes, the answers may be technically correct, but I am a stickler for things like grammar, spelling, and legibility. Silly me!

I am trying to remain calm and explain my expectations clearly. Work will have to be redone. Rudeness will not be tolerated.

Sigh.

Might be a long year!

Six More Days

Six small days until the start of our school year! Yikes! Where did the summer go?

Snoozing

 

Hanging with friends

Cloud-gazing

Being silly

Oh, yeah. I remember now. We also have been doing(are doing, in fact) a fair amount of swimming and bowling, too. A good summer, indeed!

The plan is to start school Aug 2, and get a little bit of schooling in before vacation. Then, a vacation, and back to school with time off for out-of-town family and other things.

My goal this summer was to re-organize large chunks of the house. We have lived here officially one year now! (cheering and clapping in the background - can you hear it?) However, the first half of that year was spent in me recovering from an burst appendix and other things. In fact, we were partway moved in when my appendix went, and afterward I couldn't lift anything over 20 pounds (including my baby!). Needless to say, the move was not very much in my control!
So, one year later it is time to reclaim the house! I have tackled several rooms. The goal? Unpack boxes, organize, throw out clutter, arrange items. The result? Not too bad. I tackled my bedroom, my closet, the schoolroom/linen closet, the laundry room, and the room Cookie Boy and Romeo share. Whew! So far, so good. Today, I work on Cookie Boy and Romeo's closet.
Remember, I am no domestic goddess! The results are not worthy of Better Homes and Gardens or anything. Just  a little less like a zoo where animals live (you know, the burrowing kind) and more like a home where semi-tamed boys dwell!

The Young Adult is spending this week at a middle school church camp, called PHAT camp (People Meet, Hang with counselor, Adore God, Tour the Metroplex = PHAT. Get it? I love telling people we are sending out super-skinny 12-year old to PHAT camp,and watch their faces!) Yesterday was a service project day, followed by a trip to tour the new Cowboys stadium! How cool is that? The Young Adult actually called me from the middle of the stadium (using the youth leader's phone) because he was so excited by it. Today it is a group ropes course.
The rest of us get to stay home and clean! Lucky boys!

Homeschooling Boys

All week long I have been blogging about the various aspects of raising a houseful of boys, with no girls to help tame the wild beasts!

First, I want to give a thank you to Bethany, over at Confessions of an Organized Homeschool Mom, and her post about "The Important of Community". It was reading this post at the beginning of the week that got me thinking about all this and inspired the week's blog topic! Thanks, Bethany!

Bethany nailed it right on the head talking about the absolute necessity of having friend time for moms when you homeschool. Especially having time with other homeschooling moms, who know what you face day-in-and-day-out.

I am not a very outgoing person. It is very difficult for me to make new friends and feel comfortable in group situations. I can get up and sing in front of 1,000 people, or give a workshop to a room full of attendees, but put me in a cozy, social situation, and I am like a caged cat. Well, I won't bite, but I might run for it at any moment.

It takes work for me to make friends. Yet, that is exactly what I have had to do. Without other adults, I am afraid my mind would melt into a tiny, itty-bitty puddle. It is close enough, just as it is!

Time with friends, both homeschoolers and non-homeschoolers, is essential to a homeschooling parent's well-being!

One last note about homeschooling only boys - it can be very difficult to find that social time for myself.

In my neck of the woods, in my homeschooling circle, there is a wonderful group for girls. It is really and truly cool. But almost all the girls are involved. They meet frequently, and have lots of fun. So, their moms meet frequently and have fun and at least some time together. And many of those girls have brothers, so the brothers get together while the girls get together, and they all have fun and are forming friendships.

As a family of only boys, we do not get to do this. A few people have suggested I start a similar group for boys. But it isn't the same. You get a group of boys together, and there is no fellowship for moms. You are too busy making sure they are not dueling with kitchen utensils (been there), or finding ways to get around the room via furniture without ever touching the floor (done that!)! Boy meetings are not restful!

I am doing one anyways. I am coaching my first ever First Lego League, where we are going to build motorized Lego things and compete. It will be fun, but not too much socializing.

So, I guess my point is this. Homeschooling only boys can make it much more difficult to find socializing times with other homeschooling moms. In fact, it rarely happens. Mostly, I have to do it after-hours - through moms groups and other things.

To quote Forest Gump - And that's all I have to say 'bout that.

It is Saturday! Enjoy!

Educating Boys, Pt 2

"Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanagable."  - Plato

Yesterday, I began with "Educating Boys, Pt 1".

A review:

Boys need 10 things:

• patience
• space to move and play
• boundaries
• clear expectations
• challenges/goals
• praise
• physical challenges
• strong role models
• the chance to be silly
• love, love, love

Today we pick up with -

5. Challenges/Goals -  Boys work best when there is some goal in mind. For example, The Young Adult was really struggling in math. Yes, we grade his work. When I was in (public) school, there was a certain amount of shame involved in getting handed a paper with a failing grade on it. I knew my teacher knew how poorly I had done, and so did the chick sitting next to me who couldn't keep her nose in her own business. Shame - healthy shame (and it does exist) - can be a powerful motivator. So can recognition. But when your mom grades all your papers, and you are the only one in your class, a failing grade (or a string of them) or a perfect grade just seems like another number. The Young Adult seemed to understand the math concepts, but when it came to doing his homework, he was not doing well at all. ArtGuy finally hit on an idea - offer The Young Adult $1 for every 100% he received.
The Young Adult became almost obsessed with doing his math homework well. In other words, he took his time with the homework and paid attention - something we were certain he was not doing before! He would sit by my side while I graded his tests. 100's are still few and far between, but the goal is there.
     The same is true of challenges. Now, "challenges" is a different word than "frustration", and sometimes there is a fine line between the two. Boys need challenges. Why do you think they are so attracted to stories of knights, battles, wars, adventure? There is always a difficult or "almost impossible" challenge to them. I listen to my sons and their friends while they play, and their play often involved challenges. "Bet you can't do more than I can", "beat that", "dare you", and so on. Many boys are attracted to video games because of the challenges involved - beat the level, beat the boss, beat the game, find the secret room, discover the extra life, etc...
A boy loves a good challenge. And they never grow out of it. ("Oh, I can fix that leaking pipe, honey. I know nothing about plumbing, but I can figure it out. It'll be fun!" Sound familiar to any of you ladies out there?)

6. Praise -
Boys need recognition. They get all kinds of bad recognition, but they need to be caught "being good" as well. This is true for all of us, I know. But boys seem to hear so many more negative things (you are too loud, knock that off, be quiet, be gentle, be nice, be neat). And they need praise for the things which make them a boy! Not the burping and farting (although an appreciative "nice one" from mom can go a long way), but the little man things they do. Opening doors, remembering to say please and thank you, fixing the remote, figuring out how to put the vacuum cleaner they just took apart back together, sorting rocks into piles, or when the 2 yr old hands mommy the booger instead of eating it - praise him!


7. Physical Challenges -
Boys need activity. Even quiet ones need to be active. Sometimes it is hard to look at a little boy's body and imagine him a man with arm muscles and chest hair and all. But it will happen. They need to be encouraged to grow those muscles and work those bodies to develop into strong lads. We keep light weights and a jump rope on hand. My boys pick up the jump rope several random times a day and see how far they get (goals). Then, they like to report to their brothers - "I did 57 today. Beat that!" (remember challenges?)

Physical activity also helps the brain. When a student becomes restless, often a little physical activity can settle them back into a learning mode again. ScienceDaily reported in 2009 about research linking physical activity and learning:
"The research, led by Charles Hillman, a professor of kinesiology and community health and the director of the Neurocognitive Kinesiology Laboratory at Illinois, suggests that physical activity may increase students’ cognitive control – or ability to pay attention – and also result in better performance on academic achievement tests." (see article here)


When my boys get fidgety in school, I ask them to go run around the block, or do 25 jumping jacks, or 15 minutes of Wii Fit.

Also - a note about sports. Sports are full of challenges and physical demands. If at all possible, involve boys in sports. They can be non-traditional. Romeo is my only athletic child. He loves soccer and riding bikes and wrestling. But Cookie Boy and The Young Adult failed mserably at soccer and baseball. They hated it. They just are not into those type of sporting events (remember, there is a thin line between challenges and frustration!). Cookie Boy has found Speed Stacking. Not a traditional sport by a long-shot, but one he feels comfortable doing. This spring, he even competed against 500 kids in a regional contest. And anyone who knows Cookie Boy will tell you that it was surprising for him to do that. But he found what motivated him and challenged him.
Likewise, you have probably seen my posts of The Young Adult. He is a Scottish Highland dancer. ArtGuy and I never saw that coming! The Young Adult is a typical boy in many ways, and is tall and handsome for his age. He loves the rich history behind Highland dancing, and what many of the dances represent. He also has benefited greatly from the physical demands of the sport.

8. Strong Role Models -
Boys need examples of good men (and women, yes, but in order for a boy to grow into a good man, he must know what a good man is!).
Good, interesting biographies are a great way for boys to get to know some real men. Stories of the saints are also excellent. Good documentaries are also a help. We talk to the boys when we can about these things. For example, we were all watching "Design Star" on HGTV this past Sunday (which stinks this year, by the way. But that is another issue!). The design task was to design a room in two separate firehouses for New York firefighters. A person on screen made a comment about the bravery of the New York fire department. The Young Adult said, "What is the big deal? Why should firefighters get cool stuff just becuase they are from New York?"
We used that opportunity to discuss what firefighters actually do, and how they risk their lives. We talked with them about what the New York fire department did on 9/11, and how that bravery was not a one-time thing. It became a teaching moment on good brave heroes - and the boys completely changed their attitude.
There are enough flashy role models for our boys out there. They promote money, ease, and the rich life, and often end up doing very stupid things. Our boys see the cool stuff - the awesome cars, the clothes, the "hot" women, the apparent happiness, and they buy into it. That is what they want!
But real role models last a lot longer. Their lessons are bigger than money. They usually involve sacrifice of some kind, and often end up touching the lives of many people in many ways. Feed boys on the real role models whenever you can!

9. The Chance to be Silly -
Boys are silly by nature. They can make sound effects from the cradle. They love dumb jokes. Our neighbor, 8 year old Speedy, loves to tell the "What's under there?" (underwear - hah hah - you said underwear!). He tells it over and over. I let him. I fall for it almost every time. Why? Boys are boys, and they revel in sheer silliness (SpongeBob Squarepants, anyone!).

10. Love, love, love -
I am sure this one is self-explanatory. But it is true. They need love, and they need to know it. It is easy to cuddle Romeo, who at 8 is still very much a little boy. But The Young Adult is several inches taller than me, wears the same size shoes as his dad, and is beginning to take on man features - when I touch his face, it is the thick, tough face of a man. Gone is the soft, little-boy flesh. Even still, I pat his cheek, grab him for a hug (and he is not allowed to give me any "beaver-lodge" hug, either!), tell him he is great. Give high-fives, pat his back, ruffle his hair, lightly punch his arm. And from time to time, actually say those words - "I love you". It is like sunlight for the soul!


"Besides, the best have to get through the hobbledehoy age, and that's the very time they need most patience and kindness. People laugh at them, and hustle them out of sight, and expect them to turn, all at once, from pretty children into fine young men. They don't complain much - plucky little souls - but they feel it. I've a special interest in such young bears, and like to show them that I see the warm, honest, well-meaning boys' hearts, in spite of the clumsy arms and legs and topsy-turvy heads."
                                                                              - Louisa May Alcott, Little Women, Ch. 47

Educating Boys, part 1

"Boys. I want to open a school for little lads - a good, happy, homelike school, with me to take care of them, and Fritz to teach them."
..."I like it," said Mrs. March decidedly.
"So do I," added her husband, who welcomed the thought of a chance of trying the Socratic method of education on modern youth.
..."I've always longed for lots of boys, and never had enough; now I can fill the house full, and revel in the little dears to my heart's content. Think what luxury - Plumfield  my own, and a wilderness of boys to enjoy it with me!"
                                                          -Louisa May Alcott,  Little Women, Ch 47

Perhaps it is a bit cheeky of me to quote Louisa May like that, but it does echo the sentiments in my own heart. Despite the fact that four boys hardly constitutes a "wilderness". Especially when we know a family with 6 boys and one with seven. Still.

If you want to find out how we ended up homeschooling, you can always hit the link at the top of the blog, titled "How We Ended Up Homeschooling". It tells our story and explains why I, the reluctant homeschooler, am getting ready to start our 8th year as homeschoolers.

Regardless of what many people think, boys and education do go hand in hand. But the education of boys is a delicate thing. Like any wild creature, if you keep them chained up somewhere, they tend to either wither away or learn to bite any hand that comes near.

Boys need 10 things:

• patience
• space to move and play
• boundaries
• clear expectations
• challenges/goals
• praise
• physical challenges
• strong role models
• the chance to be silly
• love, love, love

I am sure there are more than 10 things boys need, but I like that number, and I am saying it with confidence!

I hear stories all the time of the difficulties parents face with their young sons in formal school. Not that public or private school is a bad thing.

Please, let's be clear - I am not a homeschooling nazi. I do think it is a great way of education, but it does not work for everyone. And there are many wonderful public and private schools. And children get through even the bad ones, and often learn to do well. I was public school educated, and did just fine! I am trying to not step on anyone's toes. I will probably fail. Please take what I have to say with an understanding that I do not judge parents based on the type of schooling they choose. I just want to share my experiences.

1. Patience - Mothering boys needs a great deal of patience. Educating boys often needs more. In some ways, boys are natural learners. Given the right subject they are motivated, hard-workers, and creative thinkers.  Patience is needed to help them through those subjects that they do not take to naturally. Some boys are natural organizers, but many are not. A lot of patience must be given to help boys understand the rules of society and education and how to implement them.
I am naturally a low-energy kind of parent. It took many years to reconcile myself to the loud noises that come naturally to the male gender.
And have I told you about their bathroom?
Patience, patience, patience!

2. Space to move and play -  Formal schooling is often a trial for young boys. Boys of five, six, and seven were just not designed to sit in a classroom all day. Some boys find this more difficult than others. These boys tend to need to get up and move in order to process information. Yes, the way some brains are wired, information is process best when the body is involved. This type of learner is a kinetic learner. Many young boys who are kinetic learners wrongly end up being diagnosed with ADHD, simply because they cannot sit down to learn, especially for hours a day.

I have worked with children since I was 16 - as a day care worker, as a student teacher, as a substitute teacher, as a counselor, a nanny, a babysitter, a teacher, and a mother. I have been with children who probably are ADHD, and they are usually quite different from many other children who are labeled ADHD.

Many young boys simply need more room, more play, more activity, more freedom. Homeschooling has given us the ability to merge the natural needs of boys with the demands of education. Boys can often perform quite well in more serious study if they have the chance to get up and move from time to time. Educating boys well means giving them small breaks throughout the day and bigger breaks to get active.
Boys also need space. Even a small space can be adapted, as long as there is somewhere for a boy to go where he does not have to worry about breaking something or hurting something.

3. Boundaries - Needing to be free to move and play does not mean boys do not need rules. Boundaries for boys are very important. Boys often behave better when they know there are boundaries. Boundaries are the guidelines in which one places one's behavior. For many boys, these boundaries need to be generous, but they do need to be there.

4. Clear expectations - This goes hand-in-hand with number 3. There need to be boundaries, and they need to be made clear. Boys work best when they understand exactly what is expected of them. It is not enough to tell a boy, "Go clean your room" if you have never told him what that means. To him it may mean pushing everything in the closet and throwing all his books in a pile, while you are expecting the books to be lined up, spines out on the shelf.
Spell it out - write it down, go over it with him - tattoo it on his chest if you have to - just make your expectations clear!

  My nephew and a young Young Adult with their ziggurat

Stayed tune for part 2!