It's A Wonderful Life (Mine!)

We are days before Christmas (3!!!), but I already feel like it has begun!

On Saturday, I told ArtGuy that my life is starting to feel like "It's A Wonderful Life". Not  the losing-the-mortgage-part or the standing-on-a-bridge-wondering-why-I-was-born part, but the part right at the very, very end. The happy part. The part where Mary and George Bailey stand in their living room, and people who love them surround them, bringing help, surrounding them with community so they know they are not alone.



It is no secret to our friends and most of our family that things are really tough for our family, financially speaking. I mean, ArtGuy and I have lived 15 years of financial stress, so financial difficulty is not a new thing, really. ArtGuy worked a series of under-paid jobs early in our marriage that brought us to a state of debt. I used to tell him that if I knew we were going to rack up that amount of debt, I would rather have done it buying big items, like tvs, computers, and fancy stuff. We would still have the debt, but at least we would also have some cool stuff to show for it.
Not that we would have. I remember thinking before our marriage that at while we would never be wealthy, we would also never be in debt, since neither ArtGuy nor I are big spenders.

Hah!

No, instead the debt mounted up over car repairs, home repairs, and banal things like that. Ugh.
Now ArtGuy has a great job, but awful health insurance. So bad, the boys and I cannot have it - it would cost more than our mortgage. So, we are on a high-deductible, private plan.
Our deductible is so high every time I have to take someone to the doctor (or the times I have gone to the hospital) compassionate health workers sit down in front of me, look me gently in the eye, and softly say, "Are you aware of how high your deductible is?"

You know it is bad when it shocks anyone in the health care industry....

Anyway, as high as it is, we have met it...twice..in the past four years.

Now this year, everything is breaking. Our lights do not work in our upstairs schoolroom and hallway, my dryer has to run 3x to dry a load, our bed (a Sleep Number-type) does not hold air, and our van...our poor, poor minivan, is held together with a prayer. And we have had a couple of weeks over the past few months where I get that dreaded phone call from ArtGuy, saying, "How are we fixed for groceries?". And I know that means we are out of money, and it is time to stretch the pantry again. Rough when you have four ravenous boys.

We planned on replacing the van after Christmas. We do not have much money, so it is likely to be a similar, older vehicle, but hopefully in better shape than the one we have. In order to do this, since we have no money, we are using ArtGuy's Christmas bonus.

We began preparing the kids a few months ago that this Christmas would be small. That everything we have is going to get us a safer vehicle for the family. And good boys that they are, they accepted this with no complaints.

God really blessed me back in August, when I hit a clearance sell at a bookstore. I was able to purchase some items for the boys' Christmas then, knowing money would be tight at Christmas. And again in October, a trip to my grocery store (which has a wonderful toy section) led me to an incredible mark-down on some items for The Monkey.  So, while our Christmas will be smaller than normal, we are able to have a nice one!

I work a little every month, as a cantor singing for parish events. It is a great job. I am blessed to ever be allowed to do it. I do not make a lot, but it has always helped us out, especially for Christmas. This year I was able to get some extra work in the fall,  mainly to pay for various things (the 2nd half of The Young Adult's math class, a winter coat for Cookie Boy, etc).

Then in early December, we found out ArtGuy's car needed a lot of work to pass inspection. My whole bigger paycheck, plus some. It was devastating. I mean, on one hand, I was so thankful we had the money at all, since we cannot go into debt any deeper. On the other hand, we are now officially broke.

I cried a little. I shouted out on facebook some, just as a way to blow off some of the stress. But I have been striving to remain cheerful and trusting.

I have been trying to plan for this moment. I knew it was coming. Our financial situation has been very tenuous for a couple of years, and the van has giving us signs for a year or more that it was close to exhaustion. I have tried to find extra work. We even looked into me going back to work full-time. I even went after a job and made it to the final stages of hiring, when I withdrew.  My salary would have been about enough to cover day-care for The Monkey. Not worth it, yet. In a couple of years, maybe.
Then, I decided to concentrate on my writing. Surely THAT'S how God was going to help us. I worked as much as homeschooling 4 boys would allow, and finished one book I really believed in. But as the months went by, I received the same answer - no. Some did not publish that kind of book (for the religious ed classroom), and others loved it, but due to budget cuts and all, my book just would not make enough money for the publishing houses to publish it.
Sigh.

Well, then, what was the purpose in all this? If God really, truly cared, then He must know the place our family was coming to. And if He knew, and if He cared, and if He realized how hard we were trying, why was He not helping us to find a solution?

It started a little over a week ago. The first gift came, out of the blue. It knocked our socks off. And we felt blessed. But it wasn't the last gift. A few days later, I found out someone paid for The Young Adult's highland dance class for the month (we had to drop it this month. No $ = no extra activities). I cried.

But that has not been the end.

Some of our gifts have been anonymous, and some have had our friends' names on them. Some have been material. Some have been gifts of prayer, which believe me, have held me up in a very real way. All ways, ArtGuy and I feel so blessed, so surrounded by love and care. So cared for.

I cannot begin to express the fullness of my heart. ArtGuy and I still have to figure a way out of our mess, and try to keep this from happening again. The material help we are receiving will be of real, physical benefit to us. It will help pay bills, make repairs, and move forward.

But the bigger benefit of all this is not physical. It cannot be seen, but it most certainly is felt. It is the real love we feel from those around us. Why this outpouring of care and love from our friends and family now? I do not know. I do see the hand of God in it, the reminder that we are not alone, that we are not forgotten.

It is really beyond my ability to put into words what is in my heart. All I can do is give thanks constantly, and to live my life in grateful appreciation for the love we have been shown.

"I don't know what to do!" cried Scrooge, laughing and crying in the same breath..."I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy. I am as giddy as a drunken man. A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world!..." (A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens)

December Catch-Up

Advent is more than half-way gone. Christmas is less than two weeks away!

Life has been so busy these past few months, I just have not been able to write. I have tried to chalk it up to God wanting me to focus elsewhere for the moment. I miss writing, and hope to be called to it again soon.

     We decorated our tree last night. Actually, we put the tree up the 1st Sunday of Advent (in a brief moment that no one in the family was barfing. Yeah, Thanksgiving was not fun this year), and decorated it with our purple Advent decorations. It has been so lovely, and a wonderful reminder that Christmas is coming, but not quite here yet.
      Now we have passed the third Sunday of Advent, Gaudete Sunday, so now we decorate! The boys are all getting so big now. The Monkey was very excited to help put ornaments on the tree. Mostly on the bottom right part of the tree. It is kind of tipping to one side. The cat loves having those "oh-ma-nents" in reach.

   Most of the past two months have been filled, outside of normal life and schooling, with my First Lego League team. My team, Storm System, is a 2nd year team this year. They have worked pretty hard all season, but got a little complacent at one point. When they slowed down and did not seem to want to work anymore, my fellow coaches and I sighed and said to one another, "Well, at least our season will end soon." But darn it all! Those boys kicked into gear, and went into Qualifiers this last weekend ready for Gracious Professionalism and Coopertition! They came in 6th out of 29 teams over all in the robot game, and scored well in the project presentation and teamwork. They won a Judges Award and advanced to the Championships!

Storm System is in the tie-dye black. Getting ready to battle!

Getting our trophy!

In the above picture, it looks like Romeo is shooting the finger, and has been blurred out for censorship. But no. Pretty sure he was just waving a hand around. It just looks bad.
So, our season will not end until January 21, when we go to the regional Championships. Now we are taking a little break, but will start work back up soon.

In our homeschooling life, we finish up for Christmas break tomorrow. More or less. There may have to be a test or two next week, but otherwise.....freedom!

We are big Cars fans in our house. I still have never seen Cars 2 all the way through (wiggly preschooler), but we love the toys. We were SO waiting for this set! I just picked it up at Walmart today! Love it!

 

Catch you all soon!

On the Fourth Day of Christmas

 On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: installation of cat doors into the laundry room and garage. Now I don't have to smell the cat.....smell. ArtGuy loves me!

Today was an up-and-down kind of day. The house is a mess, and I am very tired. I guess Christmas is catching up to me! A headache and several naps accompanied me through the day.

The Mad Toddler and I did get a walk in this afternoon after the sun came out. It was warm, which was nice. It was good to get the over-stimulated toddler out of the house.

I am starting to feel the itch to get really writing again. Not sure what, but I am ready to write. If the Mad Toddler will leave any of my brain cells intact!

On the Third Day of Christmas

Merry Christmas to all!

Today is December 28, and it is the first day I have been able to rest in weeks on end! It is wonderful!

Round about 1am on Christmas Eve. I was still at Midnight Mass. So, either ArtGuy or Santa took this!

The boys all had a great Christmas. Well, we all did! ArtGuy really surprised me with a Kitchen Aid stand mixer - something I have wanted for years but never thought we would be able to pull off! It is silver and shiny and just begging to be used! I WILL use it, as soon as we can eat our way through some of the food here!

Sigh. Beyond happy!

After Christmas day mass at St. Gabriel's

A rare whole family picture. Even my hair looks tired by this point!

The Mad Toddler's new "I'm cute" face

This year will be known as the Christmas of Excellent Food!

a variety of goodies

We started off on Christmas Eve with a dinner of piggies in a blanket, and our favorite smokehouse mac and cheese.

Smokehouse mac and cheese. Not at all on the Weight Watchers plan!

 Christmas Day was filled with my mom's meatloaf (and this stuff is by far the very best meatloaf I have ever, ever had), my Aunt Mike's Enchilada casserole  (which I have had the recipe for for 13 years, but for some stupid reason have never made), and a variety of other, numerous, delectable foods.

Mom's meatloaf! MmmmMMMMMmmmmm!

The following day gave us tipsy fudge and my Aunt Gladys's Tater Tot casserole, which is comfort food at its finest, and beyond words to describe how yummy it is. Let me put it this way: my Lil' Bro and SIL, Sarah, had just arrived but had recently eaten lunch on the road. They were too full to eat the family meal with us, but just sat at the table to chat. They ended up each consuming, well....I won't say embarrassing portions, but "adequate servings" on top of their recent burger lunch! Yeah - it is that good! And while Aunt Gladys keeps promising to get the recipe to me, I have yet to see it! I think she is holding out on me! No problem - I will just call her up when I want some!

Tipsy fudge. Heaven in my mouth. Seriously.

And then yesterday, my mother took ArtGuy, Lil' Bro, Sarah, and I out for burgers, but the burger place was closed. We ended up at a restaurant called The Library Grill in Sherman, TX. The food....there....was....unbelievable! I had the pork tenderloin with raspberry chipotle sauce and green beans with bacon. I ate every single bite on my plate! Heavenly! (and yes,  I AM blogging about it like the pathetic, desperate housewife I am!)


So you can see why I have named this Christmas the Christmas of Excellent Food!!!!

The Young Adult is off at Boy Scout winter camp. He left the morning after Christmas Day. His momma is sad and can't wait to have him home again! 

The Mad Toddler loves his hat and gloves

cousins enjoy a card game

O Come O Come Emmanuel

Rain pours down on our heads, which is much better than the storm that dumped ice and snow last Christmas Eve. The snow storm struck during mass, and we had a long, scary 30 minute drive home! So, this year's rain is okay!

Thanks to Lisa, my friend and music director, for making sure I have a way to jump from one mass to another without drowning or losing my parking space!

About to head out to help direct the Children's choir at Seton in their pageant, then will get chauffeured across to the 4:30 liturgy to sing! Then home for a few hours, then off to midnight mass at another parish, where we will sing amazing songs tonight!

We enjoyed a delicious lunch of crackers and meat, and cheese. The cheese came to us from ArtGuy's brother in Wisconsin, and is one of our yearly delights!

We let the boys open a gift from their Virginia grandparents this morning. #1 - to help while away the rainy hours and #2 - so they get a chance to really enjoy their grandparents' present before the Christmas gift orgy begins! They got a new video game from Grandma Nan and Grandpa John and another video game from Uncle Steve. They haven't gotten new games in a year, so they are thrilled.
The Mad Toddler got a recycling truck from his grandparents, and he is over the moon! He has had it with him all day.

Merry Christmas to you all!